63TAB FOUR | TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF patient guide

After you are diagnosed with cancer, you may feel

shock, disbelief, fear, anxiety, guilt, sadness, grief,

depression and anger. Each person may have

some or all of these feelings, and each will handle

them in a different way. Your first emotion may be

shock, because no one is ever ready to hear they

have cancer. It is normal for people with cancer

to wonder why it happened to them or to think

life has treated them unfairly. You may not even

believe the diagnosis, especially if you don’t feel

sick.

You may be afraid. While some people fear

cancer itself, others may be afraid of cancer treatments and wonder how they will get through them. Fear of pain and

suffering is one of the greatest fears people with cancer and their loved ones have. You may feel guilty. You may ask

yourself if you could have noticed your symptoms earlier, or wonder what you’ve done that may have caused the cancer.

You may wonder if you were exposed to something at home or work that led to cancer. Or you may worry that other

members of your family will also get cancer.

At this time we do not know what causes most cancers. But a few are known to be hereditary, or passed from a parent to

a child. This means if one family member develops it, others in the family may have a higher risk of developing it, too. This

can cause even more concerns for the person newly diagnosed with cancer.

You may feel hopeless or sad if you see cancer as a roadblock to a life full of health and happiness. It is hard to feel

positive and upbeat, especially if the future is uncertain. Just thinking about treatment and the time it will take out of your

life can seem like too much to handle. Feelings of sadness or uncertainty can be made worse by your experiences with

cancer.

You may have a sense of loss linked to your cancer diagnosis and treatment. Cancer can change your sense

of self - that is, how you think of your body, yourself and your future. Grief is a normal response as you give up your old

ideas of yourself and begin to develop ways to cope with the new, unwanted changes in your life. It may take time for you

to become aware of these losses and changes. It can help if you share your grief with someone close to you. If there is

no one near you that you want to confide in, you might want to see a mental health professional. Your feelings need care

too, just like your physical body.

You might feel angry. While some people may not outwardly express their anger and frustration, others may direct their

anger toward family members, friends or health care professionals. This is usually not done on purpose. If you are only

trying to vent your feelings, let people know that you are not angry with them and know it is not their fault. Also let them

know that you don’t expect them to solve your problems -- you just need them to listen.